Dear Gummy Bear

Hi Baby!

I feel a bit silly writing a letter to you while you have yet to exist outside in the real world. But you have become so much a part of me, already a huge part of our lives that I can't imagine not talking to you and telling you what is going on while you are safe inside, cooking away.

This week I reached six months in my pregnancy. Hard to believe you have been with me for so long and at the same time everything seems to have gone by in an instant. In a few weeks we'll be in the final stage and just three short months later you'll be making your appearance into this crazy world and become a part of our family. I think a lot about when I first see you and how I will feel. Already I love you so much, I wonder how my heart can feel anymore for you but I think I may feel things I have never felt before in my life. The connection we have now is so wonderful I can only imagine that it is going to grow and strengthen when I meet you for the very first time.

You are a kicker. All the time. It feels like you're practicing Kung Fu or Cirque du Soleil moves in my belly. Especially after I eat and while I'm directing shows. This leads me to believe you like food (cheese, especially) and the sound of my voice, which makes me happy. I also happen to love food and you'll be hearing a lot of my voice so it's good you're getting used to it now. You are so active and I have come to expect your moves and flips in my gut so much, that when I don't feel anything it can be a bit unsettling. Today, for example, ended up with us in the Labor & Delivery portion of the hospital and you being monitored for awhile because I had gone over half the day without feeling you at all. All the tricks to make you move (surgery foods, cold OJ, laying on my side) failed to cause a flutter and this worried us for a bit. But after they hooked me up and found you swimming around in there, heart beating away, you let everyone know how much you didn't like being observed and promptly started to kick the crap out of my insides. We were so relieved you were okay, but have to sternly advise you not to scare Mommy and Daddy like that again. With everything else you have been wonderful and it so far has been an easy pregnancy. So we'll call today a little hiccup and you can go right back to being perfect and fine and not worry us anymore.

Your Daddy is one amazing man. You really hit the jackpot with him as your father. He is going to be an incredible father and will love you in ways I don't even think he can imagine. He loves to rub you and say "Hi Baby!" or "There's a baby in there!" He gets more and more excited each day. And no matter who you end up being, boy or girl (sorry Baby, we wanted you to be a super surprise), he is going to love you and keep you safe and teach you all the things he enjoys. Just make sure you tell him if he starts talking about guns and cars too much. I know it's hard to handle at times.

You have two furry sisters that are huge cuddle bugs and I know will love you, probably too much. They have been our comfort over many years and are excited to meet you too. Just no pulling tails or digging in kitty litter and things will work out fine.

You have grandparents and uncles and aunts that can't wait to meet you too. At times I feel bad because everyone is so excited for you to be born and right now I'm the only one that gets to spend this time with you. Even Daddy can't feel you yet (although today he did get to see you kick the monitor off my belly which was really cool.) But I also cherish this time because we are so close, we are one and the miracle you are is something I get to experience every day. And you are a miracle, Baby. We tried for a long time to get you here and wanted you so badly, we feared you would never happen. But here you are, growing inside me, getting bigger and more you every day.  And while we are anxious to meet you, please stay in there for as long as you can! You have a lot to prepare for and so do we. We will meet you soon enough and love you always. I have always wanted to be mom and I am so happy that I get to be one to you! I can't wait to read to you and sing to you and teach you my favorite things and watch you become the amazing person I know you are destined to be.

But you'll forever be our Gummy Bear.

Love Always,
Mommy