The Home Stretch

The Ninth month.

Holy crap.

I am at 37 weeks and can officially "go any time."

I'm not so sure how I feel about that.

We are as prepared as we can be. The room is set, the baby stuff bought and set up. We found a pediatrician, registered and toured at the hospital, got the car seats installed, did all the little house projects we wanted to get done before B-day and my bag is packed and in my car awaiting its use.

So now we wait.

And that is the problem I have.

I don't like unexpected things. I like when things are planned and laid out and nice and neat. And babies, espeically first babies, are none of those things. I am very uncomfortable with not knowing what comes next. I could literally go any day, at any time and the unknown freaks me out.  I have tried to come up with scenerios that could happen but it's hard to determine what I will do when the moment arrives. I know I need to call Charming if he's not with me. I know I need to get to the hospital. I know I need to inform work when it happens so they can find someone to replace me and know I won't be coming in (God help me, I am so sure I will probably go into labor AT work because my life likes to mess with me like that.) I have my list of people to inform when I go into labor and the list to call once the baby arrives. I have things mapped out in my mind of what COULD happen but logically I known that probably nothing I expect will occur. And that scares me.

Surprisngly enough, I am not that afraid of the actual birthing process. Something I will probably change my mind about once I'm actually IN labor. But the idea of getting this party started is kinda exciting. I just don't like to not knowing. When and how and what will happen once we get going. Will I be okay, will the baby be okay? Will I have complications or will it be smooth sailing? I've had such an easy pregnancy I fear my labor is going to make up for my lack of morning sickness and vericose veins.

When we toured the hospital it was yet another piece of the reality that HOLY CRAP WE ARE HAVING A BABY!  And seeing the tiny little bundles in the nursery made Charming looks at wonder at my bulging belly and remark "There's one of those IN there!" It made it all more real seeing where we will go when the big day comes and walking through the steps of what will happen throughout the process of labor, delivery and recovery. Both of us were a bit struck dumb with the idea that any day we could be coming in there to meet our child. Our child!

Certainly no going back now! This baby is coming!